Building a secure foundation for your 20’s

I’m not talking about a foundation that your teachers or parents might have told you to build. We aren’t focussing on education, career, money, house, marriage or babies; all those scary, overwhelming tick boxes. I’m talking about building a solid foundation within yourself, getting to know yourself, learning to speak your truth and stand in it.


You’re not alone

The transition from teen to adulthood is hard enough, but thanks to the pandemic, the pressure and confusion has been severely heightened. Teens thrive off social interaction during their self-discovery journey, it helps them to feel independent and find their place in the world. It is also important to note however that if you’re anything like I was as a teen – highly anxious – then you’ve probably loved the excuse not to leave the house – and that is so okay. So, whether you’ve been arguing with parents about rules or feeling sad and alone, lack of routine mixed with hormones and unknowns, is tough. And you’re not alone.

Something that rings true for all teens is this immense pressure to decide what you’re doing with your life. Even at age 14, we choose our GCSE options… what if you don’t pick French but when it’s time to head to uni, you want to study French and you don’t have those A levels to get you there? As if we can decide how we want to spend the rest of our lives at age 14 or 18! It’s extremely normal for an 18-year-old to pick their uni or work options and have changed direction a million times up until they’re 40 +. Or to have stayed stagnant in a job they don’t like because they simply have never found what they wanted to do… and you’ve got to make money somehow right?


Take a breath

Let’s just take a BIG breath. What if I told you that life is kind of already mapped out for you and that all you’ve got to do is ride the wave, find the lessons and grow. The truth is that life is an unknown. And this year has certainly taught us that. Stuff changes, nothing is certain, and nothing is guaranteed. I dropped out of my A levels, went to college, started uni a year later than my friends, dropped out after 4 months, then had several jobs and found coaching at age 28. And I’m okay!


How can you support yourself?

So, what can you do to support yourself in the best way you can? Learn about yourself, learn to love yourself and know your worth. Something that I recommend to my clients in their 20’s – who often feel like lost, stuck, confused teenagers, unsure of their next move – is to look into astrology, Myers Briggs and Human Design. These tried and tested systems can help you to get to know yourself, the person you were born to be before all of the conditioning from your parents, peers and society crept in and confused you.

Getting to know the person you were born to be can hugely help you to accept yourself, the things you hate on yourself for, the things you compare yourself to your peers for. Taking myself for example, I’m a very sensitive person and people have used it against me in the past, it caused me to be anxious and feel emotions so deeply that I could never just chill. I was always beating myself up because I refused to accept it, let alone love that part of myself. It wasn’t until I explored these systems that I realised my sensitive nature is literally written in the stars, it wasn’t my fault and that made it so much easier.

These systems can also help you see the types of people you should surround yourself with, how to make decisions, your ‘weaker’ spots to look out for, as well as potential career paths. They help you learn to love yourself and navigate the world, your world, because your world is the only one that matters.

Of course, I encourage you to explore any options you feel called to regardless of what these systems say, but for a lot of teens who feel simply overwhelmed with options, this could be a really good starting point and may shift something for you. Whether it’s making a decision about your next step, supporting you through a difficult time or helping you to grow in confidence.


Follow the breadcrumbs

When it comes to options, just try not to overthink everything and simply follow the breadcrumbs. Follow one idea, no matter how big or small and take all pressure off of the outcome. It does not matter if you can’t imagine the ending or the journey, by simply following the first step, the next one will reveal itself.

Something else that can really help to support you on your journey to adulthood is following personal development and positivity accounts to keep you feeling ‘high vibe’ and keep the important things at the forefront of you mind. Often social media can cause us to compare so it’s also important to unfollow certain peers and influencers if you find that they trigger insecurity and comparison within you.

Ultimately, know that the universe is supporting you and will give you what you need to learn and grow from. I always tell myself this when things don’t go to plan and it helps me so much. I find that later down the line, I look back and think, “yep, without that mistake, I wouldn’t be where I am today.” Know that it’s normal to feel lost and confused. The truth is that a lot of adults are pretending, and they feel just like you.


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