I share the four main types of quarter-life crisis.
There are four main types of quarter-life crisis, which can of course intertwine. Can you relate to any of the below?
As little girls, many of us are conditioned to dream about the happily ever after, where finding our prince makes everything fall into place - and who can blame us with all them Disney films! The trouble is, as you get older, the dream gets heightened and turns into a nightmare. I often hear women say "I thought I was going to be married with two kids by age 25." We set these deadlines in our teens and early twenties and when we don't hit them by a certain age we become DESPERATE to tick the house, marriage and baby boxes. These women picture themselves at the alter with each Tinder swipe wondering how many eggs they’ve got left!
A lot of women experiencing a quarter-life crisis HATE their job, which is hard after you've studied and/or worked hard to build up a career. Many of these gals don't have the courage to leave their job because that would mean kissing goodbye to their salary, it might mean letting their parents down too. For some, it's because they have zero idea what to do instead, or feel it's too late to re-train in something they might hate equally as much. Coupled with the fact that we are conditioned to think that it's normal to hate your job and have a mediocre life as an adult, we feel stupid, selfish and weird for wanting more. So many barriers to smash through!
Saying that, some women love their careers and are out there SMASHING it... so much so that they’re not sure they want to go down the 'normal' marriage and kids route - but oh - the shame! What will people think? These women don't want to be crazy cat lady so they hope and pray that they will change their mind some day. With parents and grandparents asking when they'll settle down, the pressure is insane.
Mums. Yep, despite society telling us that once we are settled down, everything falls into place - it ain't always true! Some BURNT OUT mumma's are confused... this fulfilment and purpose they were promised - it's there but something's missing, something for them. Living life for other people just isn't cutting it, but the thought of taking time for themselves? Mum guilt anyone?
Stuck, empty, lost
The quarter-life crisis is SO tough, and no matter how it looks, there are some common themes. Stuck, empty, lost. Stuck, feeling completely trapped in your situation. Empty because you're so fed up. Lost with no idea which direction to turn. The funny thing is that so many women feel like this, but they constantly compare themselves to other people, wishing they had their life.
I used to suffer from severe comparisonitis! I felt SO jealous of women that had ticked life's boxes. I thought that having a house, marriage and babies would make me more 'adult'. I thought that people would take me more seriously and I longed to be sure enough about my relationship that I felt ready to take the plunge and get married. I wanted babies to give me fulfilment because I hated my job and couldn't think of another career path.
On the other hand, I felt jealous of the career gals. They seemed so independent with their city lives and money to go out and party and travel. Not falling into either category made me feel so worthless. I felt so stuck and alone with zero idea of how to fix it.
The truth is, I wasn't stuck, and neither are you! You’ve just been conditioned to prioritise certain things, make certain choices and behave in a certain way. Deep down, you probably know what you want, or at least some stuff you might have to shift and change to get to where you want.
SO, I want you to close your eyes, and ask yourself this...
"If I had the permission and support to change anything right now, what would it be?" Comment below and let me know!